Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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