so explain again why im purple
no
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
