I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
