If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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