i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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