wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Acid is not a monday night drug
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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