btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
