i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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