Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
