i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We have started to decorate penises.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
