He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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