Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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