I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
