I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize