Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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