Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
NoShamevember. You game?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
