I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
