I just made out with a guy for $7.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
that is very illegal...i love you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
