Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
