She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
