It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
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THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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