i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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