Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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