look no pants
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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