i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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