nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
