so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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