Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
