i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
