I'm lost and stupid without you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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