Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
