I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
