So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
