I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
