barbara walters just said penis...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
