I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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