How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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