is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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