roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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