Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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