We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
