How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
