oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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