Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just took my morning after pill in the library
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
