He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
