She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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