oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
