from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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