i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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