Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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