Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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