Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
