You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
please come you make the beer taste better
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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