Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize