Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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