I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
