A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have post one night stand depression
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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