butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also, beer. Big fan.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
