Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Never underestimate the power of titties
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
